Play-dough papers

I have a tendency to speak in code.
I’ll open my mouth to speak
but am really just inviting that person
to tango with me – back and forth –
Why do I say things dancing in circles around what I mean?
It’s not all the time.
...but don’t ask me to speak about my heart
I wonder if it’s that
I don’t want to say anything at all
or that I want to say everything.
I doubt I’ll go for a walk tonight.
the stars are there, I know it
but they’ve decided to shine brighter
in other people’s worlds.
I take no offense
I know they’ll come back for me.
I should probably do something
more productive than write all the time.
Someone suggested I sleep.
it was a sweet gesture,
but I can’t rest my thoughts
until they have worn holes in the rubber sole of my mind
eventually they find their way onto empty pages
and leave the space around my eyelids alone.

I used to draw more
paint my thoughts to rest.
But lately they’ve been in the shape of letters
wearing a costume of words.
I’m not complaining.
I certainly don’t have a lack of things to work on
I have papers to write.
But it’s not the same
– those words are forced
writing those type of papers
reminds me of trying to create a play-dough sculpture
with dried out clay
pushing it though the crank so hard
Only to have it come out in fragments anyhow
So much work for such a pointless ugly end.
Do my professors want to know I’m intelligent
Or that I can crank out dried play-dough?

Stella has enjoyed a nap across my arm for nearly an hour
makes writing a challenge
I think my left pinky finger is loosing circulation.
but she’s happy
so I let her stay.
'I don’t write love poems', but if I did
She’d have one.
I fall in love with animals
in about .2 seconds after meeting them
I think I already miss the raccoon we saw at Stephanie’s backyard
Why do I relate better to animals and children?
Maybe It’s a comment on my intelligence
and my professors are on to something with all
the pointless papers
They could be write.
But I’d rather believe in art,
and creativity
than their version of laced words.
Anyone want to do my papers for me?

I think I should just make a fresh batch of play-dough.
And hope for the best.